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I have Dys…What?? Thattt sounds like an STD!

That is what I said to my new therapist when she diagnosed me with dysthymia rather than major depressive disorder. I’m not the mayo clinic so I will just sum up by saying Dysthymia is a chronic depression as opposed to major depression which I guess is short lived. The ugly word is Greek and means ill tempered or some shit which explains my innate glass-is-half-empty-and-has-a-dangerous-chip attitude.

I must say, though anti-depressants are NOT a cure for me, prozac was nice. Until it gave me a serious case of Anorgasmia. Yeah. I'll just let you google that one if you can't figure it out by the name 😉 Let's just say, I'm not a nun and it wasn't cool...

A prozac nation we are, but I was definitely born sad. I was doomed from conception if you check out my gene pool and Dysthymia does have hereditary roots, so……here I am: a girl with EVERY SYMPTOM. My inability to enjoy things that a “normal” person deems positive is one of the annoying qualities of this disease/disorder/plague. Wait: is QUALITY the right word to use when describing a dreadful symptom? ANYWAY:

Here it is summed up:

That would be me in a nutshell. Or flowchart.

I am a TERRIBLE decision maker and my lack of energy and ability to sleep till I’m dead make me very gloomy. Kinda like this lovable fella:

I always liked him. Now I know why.

Eeyore got me thinking: I believe there are a few other characters in cartoon land that have an undiagnosed case of dysthymia. Snuffleupagus is a puppet (or muppet….what the hell is the difference? Jim Henson??) but I’m pretty sure the dude’s depressed. It might be due to vision impairment caused by those enormous eyelashes, but regardless, he seems pretty down…

Holy SHIT! Look at those things!!

The classic case though, the most obvious is Charlie Brown. And he’s got it bad.

Classic over-analyzer just like me...

He HAS to be desperate to continue seeking help from this crackpot:


Oh My God: We even WRITE the same, Charlie and I:

look at that: writing in text language well before his time.

Speaking of Charlie’s dysfunctional relationship with Lucy, it is glaringly clear that we share codependancy issues as well. Why else would he KEEP letting her rip that ball from beneath his foot?!?

Do not do it, Charles. STEP AWAY FROM THE BALL!

I know, I know, this post is supposed to be about depression and here I am delving into another of my ISSUES but here’s a good sum up of co-dependancy: 

Lucy is OBVIOUSLY the “punishment and other attempt to control” partner and Charlie is the “Rescues & tries to fix, bail out, care-take” partner…

Really, Charlie? REALLY?? Sigh. It's a vicious circle/triangle...

Well then, there you have it: my new label: Dysthymia. Who knew? Since it often occurs pre-birth or in childhood at least those of us with the damn thing had some friggin…..role models growing up. Wait: is ROLE MODEL the right term to choose for depressed cartoon/p(m)uppets? Maybe SUPPORTERS is a better word. I don’t know. All I do know is this:

1. Eeyore needs to seek medical attention first because getting the tack out of his ass might be all he needs to cure his depression.

2. Snuffleupagus DEFINITELY needs an eyelash curler and some heavy duty mascara, but that’s it: trimming those puppies would be a sin.

3. Charlie Brown needs to find a new therapist, give up football, STOP chasing the little redheaded girl because she is JUST NOT THAT INTO HIM, and he needs to find new ways to be hopeful.

As do I. Hence more therapy.

And 4. I need one of these:

Yes. One of these would make me a bit less depressed because my tired, energyless, two baby totin’ momnesia-havin’ ass would not have to walk as far and would ALSO not keep losing my vehicle. 🙂

I wonder if I’m the only person that has noted mental illnesses in cartoon characters…. <–that was the “LEAVE ME A COMMENT” cue/hint (qwuint?)


About MommyHoodLife

Life in the fast lane

4 responses »

  1. Well, I don’t know that I’ve ever analyzed cartoon characters for mental illness in such detail, but I do think they’re all kind of bat shit crazy. Shaggy and Velma? Oscar? They all have issues, but maybe that’s why we love them.

    Anyway, I just came across your blog and “yes” to everything above. I don’t know your whole story, but I know my own and see a lot of it in what you wrote. No great insight or comment from me here, just a kind of “Hey from one Charlie Brown to another.” Rock on.

  2. Damn. So they’ve got another word for it. I have it, too, so I’m not being an a-hole about this or anything. I can joke about it. It’s like being gay or black. Anyway. I think that the problem with all of this depression stuff is that it’s the world that is screwing us all and not us. Right? I’ve been chronically depressed, off and on, for eleven years. And now that I just found a new job, suddenly…I’m not depressed. Simple thing, but it took me those eleven years to figure it out.

    AND of course it could come back at any time.

    Your post is awesome BTW. So glad I found you.

    • My therapist(s) and i have covered this: how to differentiate the clinical depression from the situational bullshit that would make ANY bright, caring, aware individual (such as ourselves) tumble blindly into an abyss of depression shit. It definitely helps to get your situations adjusted to suit a happier lifestyle. I have “so much on my plate” right now that no one, meaning the illusive “they” I guess, are not blaming me for having a flare up. I know if certain situations in my life were different i would be way less miserable and would have the stamina and desire to really tackle my major issues and “do this damn thang” but alas, I am too overwhelmed, too cramped into this pit of shitty and sucky to do much more than label myself at the moment. But hopefully soon I will start my painful road to depression recovery if there is such a thing for me. I’ll tell ya, a gorgeous bi-lingual passionate foreign lover who loved to cook and had a childlike presence for the children would SURE brighten my day. I love me a latino. A good boy from Columbia perhaps……if there are any other than bad boys there that is….

  3. I like meeting fellow Charlie Browns. Having a support group makes me feel less (pea)nuts! Damn it, that’s like the THIRD PUN that has just popped out of my mouth today!! Well i am glad you stumbled across me. I am an admirer of your blog but was under a different name. i have had to sneak into the world of anonymity!!
    –read you later!


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